As if things couldn’t get any worse, I spotted the tic tack man heading in my direction. Please God don’t let him sit next to me I uttered under my breath.

I’ll never wish for anything again, it’s a dangerous business. Some people wish they would win the lottery or wish they had some fantastic talent that would bring them fame. I had a wish once, I got mine, and it cost me dear.

Typically the train was late and I cursed it as I stood on the platform, freezing, hopping from one foot to another. My breath was making small clouds in front of me. Eventually when the train did arrive I joined the other commuters in the usual scrum around the carriage door. Like a flock of Penguins shuffling around in the cold trying to keep warm, each one of us was vying for the prime position nearest the door. All etiquette evaporates when humans try to board a train; it’s just one big scramble for a seat.

I was glad to finally be aboard. The warmth cheered me a little and took my mind off the usual musty, stale beer and body odour stench that normally accompanies rail travel. Suddenly, up ahead, was that him? Yes I it was. I recognized his smartly cropped dark hair, and expensive looking suit. This is it, I thought. I’m going to make my move. Just go and sit next to him I told myself. Oh he’s so gorgeous. I checked my reflection in the window. Hair’s fine, lippy ok, well this is it. My heart was pounding, just a few more steps and I’d be… then, a woman coming in the opposite direction threw herself in the seat next to him. “Hello Philip” she purred, “haven’t seen you in ages”. Damn and blast who was this girl?

I had to make do with a seat a few rows down. Fortunately I got one facing Philip. Well at least I knew his name, thanks to HER! She was beautiful, very beautiful. I could see her flashing her big brown eyes at him and smiling with her perfect teeth. For the time being I consoled myself with the fact that her hair may be blonde like mine, but at least mine didn’t come out of a bottle.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, I spotted the tic tack man heading in my direction. Please God don’t let him sit next to me I uttered under my breath. The train was starting to pull away again and tic tack man stumbled around, clattering his bags against the seating and not bothering to apologize. My worst fears were realized when he slouched in the seat opposite me, panting like an overfed Labrador whose owners are too damn lazy to take it for a walk. “Just made it eh!” oh God, now he’s spoken to me. “Yes lucky” I replied, but not lucky for me I told myself. He began loosening his coat. His fat pear shaped body flopped out of it, reminding me of one of those wildlife Antarctic scenes featuring a Walrus. It was impossible not to notice that the last few buttons on his shirt were undone and his overstuffed belly was exposed. Urrrgh!, I’d even been robbed of the pleasure of planning dinner now.

Tic tack man began his familiar ritual. Out came his laptop and whilst it was bleeping to life he made a phone call. He tapped the mouse impatiently with the underside of his wedding ring waiting for the connection. “Hello sweetheart” he said, his nasally tone drooling smarminess into the ear of the unfortunate recipient. Obviously he was about to arrange another illicit rendezvous with his mistress. He never used such niceties when he called his wife. I hated people who couldn’t be faithful, especially obnoxious ugly ones like tic tack man. Why is life so unfair? I asked myself. Here I am, a twenty something, single and quite attractive female with a nice figure and I can’t find one man, and there’s bloody tic tack man with a wife and a mistress.

Once he’d concluded his sleazy business he set about his trademark tic tack, tic tack, on the keys of his laptop. If I hadn’t seen him nearly every night for the past 16 months on this journey, I or anyone for that matter, could have been forgiven for thinking he was typing up some work related document, or even a novel. Alas there were no redeeming features to tic tack man; he was just playing some childish computer game.

I glanced over at Philip and the bottle blonde, they where engrossed in conversation. How did she know him? She was definitely flirting with him. Was he single? I’d never managed to get a look at his wedding finger. The way she was draping herself over him and laughing at his jokes, you’d think she knew he was fair game. Well, there’ll be other journeys and I’ll have to be more daring next time, yes that’s it I thought. More daring.

Looking around the carriage, people were beginning to settle into their usual routines. Some were reading whilst others dozed. Some chatted while the remainder of us either engaged in people watching or stared aimlessly into space.

I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter. Ok so forget what’s happened tonight, it’ll be alright tomorrow, but It was no use I couldn’t stop staring at them, they were getting on so well. Tic tack mans phone rang with that infuriating ring tone. Not only was it such an appallingly bad tune, but it was made all the more annoying by the fact that I could never identify it. It always frustrated me even more when I found myself trying to figure out what it was. It was always on the tip of my tongue but I could never get it. One evening I’d been humming it in my head all night and even woken up at 3:20 am with it still bouncing around my brain. GOD I HATE THAT MAN I raged to myself. He answered the call, annoyed at being interrupted from his leisure activity. “YES!” he snapped. “Well I’m on my way home Simon, I can’t talk now I’m busy” I’d figured out from previous conversations that Simon was his son, about 12 years old I’d guess. “NO, I’m not coming to pick you up, I don’t care what Mummy says, – look – Simon, oh stop crying you stupid boy, – I know it’s dark – just ride your bike home, your old enough now.” Then he cut him off and slammed his phone on the table. I glared at him, how could he be so thoughtless to his own son. Within a second he was tic tacking away without a care in the world. His phone rang again and this time he looked at the display. It must have been Simon because he switched it off and didn’t bother answering it.

Inside I was furious, I wanted to scream at him and let everyone on the train know what a monster he was. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that Philip might think I was some kind of neurotic. All of a sudden I was aware that my fists were clenched so I released my fingers slowly as I said to myself I wish something terrible would happen to you to teach you a lesson I wanted something to happen to him, a heart attack or a broken leg, that would do nice. Something just bad enough to jolt him into seeing how selfish he was. I know it sounds a horrible think to say, but you had to be there, night after night to witness what a pig he was.

The train rumbled on through the darkness. I knew it wasn’t a long journey but it seemed like an eternity having to put up with tic tack man and watching my Philip and the mysterious blonde.

I suddenly felt hot. The train had picked up even more passengers at the last stop; now the carriage was overcrowded. The combination of all those bodies, a heating system on full blast and my growing anger at tic tack man was making me perspire, so I removed my coat. No sooner had I placed it across my knee that I realized the stupidity of my actions. Bugger! You idiot I ranted to myself. I was wearing a white low cut sweater that showed off my cleavage, it also had the added effect of clinging to my waist. The whole thing was designed for Philips eyes. I had plotted meticulously the whole scenario of how I would sit opposite him and engage him in a little chitchat and then at the right moment, make the excuse that I was a little warm and remove my coat. I was proud of my figure and I wanted Philip to take note. I had laid awake for hours in bed thinking about what he would like to see me in, nothing too tarty, just something to accentuate my curves and then I’d watch the expression on his face as I wriggled out of my overcoat.

The whole thing had backfired on me as I could feel tic tack mans eyes scanning my breasts. I dared not think about what was going through that distorted mind of his, I could feel the anger rising again, and only this time it was with the added unpleasantness of nausea. What made me even angrier was the fact that in a bizarre way I felt angry for Philip too. In my fantasy I’d laboured for so long to reveal this sexy side of myself, and now tic tack man had stolen it from him. How could I have come to hate him with such a passion? I couldn’t contain myself any longer I was screaming inside. I was going to look at him and if I caught him ogling at me then he was in for the shock of his life. My eyes flicked towards him and sure enough he was starring straight at my breasts, but not just starring, he was transfixed, he didn’t even notice that I had seen him. He was almost drooling, like a starving jackal that’s discovered an easy meal. I couldn’t bare it any longer, the feeling of utter disgust for the man had reached a peak, like a pressure cooker that was at the point of explosion I sat forward to grab his attention, I felt my lungs fill with air as I was about to unleash my outright revulsion for him. I opened my mouth but suddenly there was a jolt, I was thrown backward in my seat. There was a screeching noise and the train juddered to a holt.

Surprisingly, there was no screaming. People looked at one another, startled. Some were visibly more shaken than others but on the whole, things were calm. The conductor’s voice came over the PA, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain calm. We are just experiencing a few technical difficulties”.

I noticed a few people looking out of the window on my side of the carriage. I half raised my self out of my seat to look also but realized I was giving tic tack man an even better view, so I sat down again.

“Bloody typical” said tic tack man. “We’ve got to be almost at the station and the damn thing breaks down.”

“WELL IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS” I snapped at him, God that felt good. Finally I’d had a chance to take out a little of my frustration on him. I was waiting for a reply so I could give him the full force of my anger but as if to annoy me even more he started to pack up his paraphernalia and ignored me.

The train hadn’t moved for about 20 minutes. Outside torches could be seen waving around in the darkness. Eventually the conductor’s voice came back over the PA instructing us that we were only 800 meters from the station and due to the nature of the problem we would have to abandon the train. The train’s crew had begun to unload the passengers a carriage at a time. Thankfully I was in one of the forward carriages and I’d be in the next batch of passengers to leave the train. I put my coat and scarf back on and waited. As the order came to make our way to the vestibule I noticed Philip behaving gentlemanly towards the blonde. Helping her on with her coat, and allowing her to go first.

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I stepped down onto the track. Before me was tic tack man and just in front of him was Philip. The train crew were flashing their torches in front of us to show the way. We soon began to lag behind, as tic tack man, waddled along slipping and hobbling like a newborn baby elephant on a slippery mud bank. Still he was cursing and muttering something about a refund and suing the train operator.

Up ahead I could hear some women crying and at least one woman was hysterical. On no! I thought, it’s going to be something ghastly. Don’t look I told myself, you don’t want to see it, what ever it is. As I neared the front of the train the headlights illuminated the track for some distance ahead. I could see the station platform and people scrambling onto it. I’m not going to look I said to myself, I’m happy to read about it in the paper tomorrow.

Just then tic tack man turned and said “It’s probably a suicide, its quite common you know”.

“Thanks for telling me that, but I’d rather not know, thank you very much” I replied.

“Well there’s always some mug, who just can’t hack it, so the inconsiderate bastards throw themselves under a train. They just don’t think about anyone else” he winged.

I was aghast at his total lack of feeling for the poor soul, if indeed that’s what it was but I was beginning to suspect he was right. We filed passed the front of the train, I didn’t want to look but I just caught a glimpse of the wheel of a bicycle and a white sheet. “Oh my god” I cried and I ran past tic tack man. I felt sick. I rushed towards the platform and grabbed hold of the side to steady myself.

I heard a scream and looked back, to my horror, there was tic tack man on his knees. “SIMON, SIMON” he cried. “NO, SIMON, NO”. It was tic tack mans son lying mangled with his bicycle under the wheels of the locomotive. He clutched the lifeless body in his arms and pressed his face against the boys, sobbing uncontrollably. People in reflective jackets crowded around as if to protect us from seeing any more but they couldn’t prevent the terrible cries of a parent who has just lost a child.

I looked up and saw Philip with a comforting arm around the blonde who was now crying. As he guided her away from the edge of the platform our eyes met. I gazed up at him, expecting him to reach towards me and pull me up but his attention went straight back to his new companion. I had been rejected. Like he knew this whole terrible business was down to me.

I was the one who wished this to happen, and I had to be cast aside like one of tic tack mans faulty gadgets. No this couldn’t be happening, it wasn’t my fault. I never meant for anything like this to happen.

You could say it was just a coincidence, but that’s easy for you to say. I was there, I saw what happened, and I made it happen.

By: Tanay Kumar Das on www.whereincity.com/stories