Archive for October 19th, 2008
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.
During one battle, the French captured an English Major. Taking the Major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.
The French general asked, “Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?”
In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won’t show and the men they are leading won’t panic.
And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants.
By: Jagadeesh, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Accuracy, Act, Alert, Attitude, Battle, Britain, Clever, Confusion, Counsel, Emptiness, Enlightenment, France, Honesty, Knowledge, Story for Adult, Think, Varta, War, Wisdom, Wit | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “The President Must Die” written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off.
He storms into his security staff’s headquaters and yells, “Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?”
The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor. Bill hollers, “Well dammit, don’t just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT! I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT!”
The entire staff immediately jumped up and raced for the exits. Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, “Well Mr. President, we have some bad news, and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first?”
Clinton says, “Oh Hell, give me the bad news first.” The officer says, “Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Al Gore’s urine.”
Clinton says, “Oh my god, I feel so … so betrayed! My own vice president! Damn. Well, what’s the really bad news?”
The officer replies, “Well, it’s Hillary’s handwriting.”
By: Jagadeesh, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Act, Advice, Alert, Cheat, Confidence, Confusion, Criminal, Enemy, Honesty, Humour, Insult, President, Reality, Relationship, Revenge, Story for Adult, Trust, Truth, US, Varta | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too.
Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
“Because I’m not a liberal Democrat.”
Then, asks the teacher, “what are you?”
“I’m a proud conservative Republican.”, boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a conservative Republican.
“Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too.”
The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”
A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Lucy, “I’d be a liberal Democrat.”
By: Jagadeesh, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Acceptance, Act, Attitude, Blame, Common sense, Emptiness, Enlightenment, Idiot, Imagination, Knowledge, Loyal, Moron, Politics, Relationship, Short Story, Teacher, Think, Truth, US, Varta, Wise | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
Bush: “What proof do you have that Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction?”
Colin Powell: “We kept the receipts.”
By: Jagadeesh, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Acceptance, Alert, Blame, Careful, Cheat, Confidence, Enemy, Experience, Fear, Humour, Idiot, Iraq, Lie, Politics, Reality, Relation, Short Story, Think, Trust, Truth, US, Varta, Wisdom, Wise | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
A Dog and a Cock being great friends, agreed to travel together.
At nightfall they took shelter in a thick wood. The Cock flying up, perched himself on the branches of a tree, while the Dog found a bed beneath in the hollow trunk.
When the morning dawned, the Cock, as usual, crowed very loudly several times.
A Fox heard the sound, and wishing to make a breakfast on him, came and stood under the branches, saying how earnestly he desired to make the acquaintance of the owner of so magnificent a voice.
The Cock, suspecting his civilities, said: “Sir, I wish you would do me the favour of going around to the hollow trunk below me, and waking my porter, so that he may open the door and let you in.”
When the Fox approached the tree, the Dog sprang out and caught him, and tore him to pieces.
Posted in Aesop Fable, Children story, Fables, Varta | Tagged: Accuracy, Act, Aesop Fables, Alert, Careful, Cheat, Children, Clever, Cock, Courage, Dog, Emergency, Enemy, Fables, Fox, Idiot, Kids, Knowledge, Lie, Plan, Short Story, Varta, Wisdom, Wit | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008
In The Wintertime, a Dog curled up in as small a space as possible on account of the cold, determined to make himself a house.
However when the summer returned again, he lay asleep stretched at his full length and appeared to himself to be of a great size.
Now he considered that it would be neither an easy nor a necessary work to make himself such a house as would accommodate him.
Posted in Aesop Fable, Children story, Fables, Varta | Tagged: Accuracy, Adult, Advice, Aesop Fables, Alert, Animal, Careful, Children, Common sense, Dog, Emergency, Experience, Fables, Home, House, Idiot, Kids, Knowledge, Lesson, Life, Plan, Short Story, Varta, Wisdom | Leave a Comment »
