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Posts Tagged ‘Adult’

The Eagle and the Jackdaw

Posted by kathavarta on October 23, 2008

An Eagle, flying down from his perch on a lofty rock, seized upon a lamb and carried him aloft in his talons.

A Jackdaw, who witnessed the capture of the lamb, was stirred with envy and determined to emulate the strength and flight of the Eagle.

He flew around with a great whir of his wings and settled upon a large ram, with the intention of carrying him off, but his claws became entangled in the ram’s fleece and he was not able to release himself, although he fluttered with his feathers as much as he could.

The shepherd, seeing what had happened, ran up and caught him. He at once clipped the Jackdaw’s wings, and taking him home at night, gave him to his children.

On their saying, “Father, what kind of bird is it?.”

He replied, “To my certain knowledge he is a Daw; but he would like you to think an Eagle.”
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George W. Bush and Moses

Posted by kathavarta on October 21, 2008

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

George W. approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling. George W. positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses?”

The man continued to peruse the ceiling. George W. tugged at the man’s sleeve and asked once again, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man finally responded in an irritated voice, “Yes I am”.

George W. asked him why he was so unfriendly and Moses replied, “The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend forty years in the desert.
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The Dog’s house

Posted by kathavarta on October 19, 2008

In The Wintertime, a Dog curled up in as small a space as possible on account of the cold, determined to make himself a house.

However when the summer returned again, he lay asleep stretched at his full length and appeared to himself to be of a great size.

Now he considered that it would be neither an easy nor a necessary work to make himself such a house as would accommodate him.
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How she knows you love her

Posted by kathavarta on October 16, 2008

A man wakes up with a big hangover the morning after attending his company’s annual Summer Party. He can’t even remember how he got home from the party let alone how he got so drunk and is deathly afraid of what he may have done or said the night before to offend his wife.

The man forces his eyes open, however, and the first things he sees are two headache tablets next to a glass of water on his night table, and, next to them, a single red rose! He sits up with difficulty and sees his clothing hung on the back of his chair all clean and pressed and the rest of the house all spic and span and in perfect order.

Incredulous, the man takes the tablets, then winces when he sees a nasty black eye looking back at him from the bathroom mirror. Then he finds a note next to the red rose on the night table: “Sweetie, breakfast is waiting for you on the stove. I left early to buy the ingredients to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! The note was signed, “Your loving wife”.

The man then stumbles into the kitchen and incredibly enough, there is a hot breakfast waiting for him along with steaming hot tea, and the morning paper. His daughter Jessie is also at the table, eating. “Jess… what happened last night?” The man asks, with some trepidation.

“Well, you came home around four o’clock in the morning, drunk and out of your senses. You tripped and fell onto the coffee table and broke it, and then you vomited all over the bathroom floor, and got this black eye when you crashed into the table edge.”

Baffled, the man asked Jessie, “Then why is everything in such perfect shape and so clean? Why is there a rose on my nightstand, and breakfast on the stove waiting for me?”

“Oh that, Jessie replies, “Well, Mom pulled you into your bedroom, and when she tried to undress you, you yelled, “Leave me alone, I’m married and I love my wife!’”

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com
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Posted in Funny Story, Moral story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A Courtroom scene

Posted by kathavarta on October 15, 2008

Scene: A courtroom where a witness is testifying in a case involving a man biting off the ear of another man during a fight. After supplying testimony which was very bad for the defendant, the witness was being cross examined by the defendant’s attorney.

Attorney: You said that you saw the defendant and the claimant in a fight?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You then said that you were concerned for your safety and that, because of it, you went to hide behind the bushes ?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You further stated that during this time in hiding, you turned your back to the scene?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And THEN you testified that that was when the defendant bit off the claimant’s ear??!!

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Okay so if your back was turned to the fight then you obviously MUST have had the claimant and the defendant out of your field of vision, correct?

Witness: Yes, correct.

Attorney: Well then, did you SEE the defendant bite off the claimant’s ear?

Witness: No.

Attorney: (Smugly) THEN HOW DO YOU “KNOW” THAT THE DEFENDANT BIT OFF THE EAR OF THE CLAIMANT IF YOU DID NOT SEE HIM DO IT??!!

Witness: I saw him spit it out.

(Dead Silence)

Attorney: No more questions.

From: www.onlyfunnystories.com
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10 Mahavidyas

Posted by kathavarta on October 14, 2008

Mahavidyas (Great Wisdoms) are aspects of Devi in Hinduism. The Ten Mahavidyas are known as Wisdom Goddesses. The spectrum of these ten goddesses covers the whole range of feminine divinity, encompassing horrific goddesses at one end, to the ravishingly beautiful at the other. The name Mahavidyas comes from the roots maha (great) and vidya (revelation, manifestation, knowledge, wisdom).

In the Tantric tradition, these are identified as:

01. Kali
02. Tara
03. Tripura Sundari
04. Bhuvaneshvari
05. Bhairavi
06. Chhinnamasta
07. Dhumavati
08. Bagalamukhi
09. Matangi
10. Kamalatmika

The Mahabhagavata-purana and Brhaddharma-purana provide a slightly different list of the Mahavidyas:

01. Kali
02. Tara
03. Chinnamasta
04. Bhuvanesvari
05. Bagala
06. Dumavati
07. Kamala
08. Matangi
09. Sodasi
10. Bhairavi.

The Guhyatiguyha-tantra associates the Mahavidyas with the ten avatars of Vishnu, and states that the Mahavidyas are the source from which the avatars of Vishnu arose.

All ten forms of the Goddess, whether gentle or terrifying, are worshiped as the universal Mother.

Birth of 10 Mahavidyas:

Once during a game of dice, things got out of hand between Shiva and Parvati. Shiva lost the game, and Parvati asked for the crescent moon which adorns his hair as payment. When he refused, she got angry. What had started in jest turned into a serious matter with an incensed Shiva threatening to walk out on Parvati. No amount of coaxing or cajoling by Parvati could reverse matters. Left with no choice, Parvati multiplied herself into ten different forms for each of the ten directions. Thus however hard Shiva might try to escape from his beloved Parvati, he would find her standing as a guardian, guarding all escape routes.

Each of the Devi’s manifested forms made Shiva realize essential truths, made him aware of the eternal nature of their mutual love and most significantly established for always in the canon of Indian thought the Goddess’s superiority over her male counterpart. Not that Shiva in any way felt belittled by this awareness, only spiritually awakened. This is true as much for this Great Lord as for us ordinary mortals. Befittingly thus they are referred to as the Great Goddesses of Wisdom, known in Sanskrit as the Mahavidyas. Indeed in the process of spiritual learning the Goddess is the muse who guides and inspires us. She is the high priestess who unfolds the inner truths.

Another story (told in several of the puranas) involves an argument between Shiva and Sati (Dakshayani), an earlier incarnation of Parvati. When Shiva and Sati were wed, Sati’s father Daksha disapproved of the match and organized a great sacrifice to which he invited everyone except for the newlywed couple. Sati, incensed, insisted on attending the sacrifice, which Shiva forbade until Sati transformed herself into a terrible appearance and multiplied into the ten Mahavidyas, whereby she subdued Shiva’s resistance and attended the sacrifice.

Worship of Das Mahavidyas:

In their strong associations with death, violence, ritual pollution, and despised marginal social roles, they call into question such normative social “goods” as worldly comfort, security, respect, and honor. The worship of these goddesses suggests that the devotee experiences a refreshing and liberating spirituality in all that is forbidden by established social orders.

The central aim here is to stretch one’s consciousness beyond the conventional, to break away from approved social norms, roles, and expectations. By subverting, mocking, or rejecting conventional social norms, the adept seeks to liberate her or his consciousness from the inherited, imposed, and probably inhibiting categories of proper and improper, good and bad, polluted and pure. Living one’s life according to rules of purity and pollution and caste and class that dictate how, where, and exactly in what manner every bodily function may be exercised, and which people one may, or may not, interact with socially, can create a sense of imprisonment from which one might long to escape. Perhaps the more marginal, bizarre, “outsider” goddesses among the Mahavidyas facilitate this escape. By identifying with the forbidden or the marginalized, an adept may acquire a new and refreshing perspective on the cage of respectability and predictability. Indeed a mystical adventure, without the experience of which, any spiritual quest would remain incomplete.

Note:
Atma in Dasa Maha Vidyas is called as Mother with 10 different names with 10 types of Major dimensions. Shiva being in Yoga Nidra appears with his energy like a Beautiful Mother (nature). When one’s illusion surrenders to the Mother by following any one of 10 Maha Vidyas, will realize that she is none other than Shiva. Shiva externally appears as Mother but internal is Siva. This is the secret meaning of all Maha Vidyas. It is also important to understand that one who follows these vidyas should understand the mind beyond the mundane.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org

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