Posts Tagged ‘Wit’
Posted by kathavarta on October 28, 2008
Pak dictator Zia is speeding through Germany with his chauffeur at the wheel on his way to an important address. Driving down a country road, the chauffeur (who is distracted, looking out the window at the countryside) doesn’t see a pig walk out onto the road, and he hits it.
Stopping the car, he jumps out, and Zia climbs out also to see what is going on. The chauffeur, very distressed by what he’s done asks Zia what they should do, and Zia tells him impatiently that they’re in a hurry and they should move the pig to the side of the road and go to the address and worry about it later.
All the way to the address the chauffeur, who is a fairly good hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they’d react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Zia whether he shouldn’t drive back to the farm and let them know what happened.
Zia agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Chauffeur hurries back down the road.
Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts. Zia in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the chauffeur explains, “I did what I thought was right. I went to the farm where I killed the pig. When I went and knocked on the door and gave them the news, they gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I’ve ever tasted and then sent me on my way.”
Zia seemed confused by this and asks his chauffeur, “well what exactly did you tell them”
To which the chauffeur replied “I really can’t understand it either, all I did was tell them “I’m Zia’s Chauffeur, and I killed the pig.”
By: Jagadeesh, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Accident, Act, Alert, Asia, Careless, Choice, Dictator, Help, Honesty, Humanity, Humour, Lesson, Lie, Pakistan, People, Pig, Story for Adult, Varta, Wit, Zia | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 25, 2008
Some Cranes made their feeding grounds on some plowlands newly sown with wheat.
For a long time the Farmer, brandishing an empty sling, chased them away by the terror he inspired; but when the birds found that the sling was only swung in the air, they ceased to take any notice of it and would not move.
The Farmer, on seeing this, charged his sling with stones, and killed a great
number.
The remaining birds at once forsook his fields, crying to each other, “It is time for us to be off to Liliput: for this man is no longer content to scare us, but begins to show us in earnest what he can do.”
Moral:
If words suffice not, blows must follow.
Posted in Aesop Fable, Children story, Fables, Moral story, Varta | Tagged: Acceptance, Advice, Aesop Fables, Alert, Careful, Children, Counsel, Cranes, Fables, Farmer, Idiot, Lesson, Regret, Short Story, Think, Varta, Wisdom, Wise, Wit | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 25, 2008
A Father, being on the point of death, wished to be sure that his sons would give the same attention to his farm as he himself had given it.
He called them to his bedside and said, “My sons, there is a great treasure hid in one of my vineyards.”
The sons, after his death, took their spades and mattocks and carefully dug over every portion of their land.
They found no treasure, but the vines repaid their labour by an extraordinary and
superabundant crop.
Moral:
Industry sometimes pays unexpected dividends.
Posted in Aesop Fable, Children story, Fables, Moral story | Tagged: Acceptance, Advice, Aesop Fables, Affection, Careful, Children, Clever, Common sense, Counsel, Dividend, Enlightenment, Fables, Farmer, Hard work, Industry, Short Story, Treasure, Unexpected, Wisdom, Wit | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 25, 2008
An Eagle made her nest at the top of a lofty oak; a Cat, having found a convenient hole, moved into the middle of the trunk; and a Wild Sow, with her young, took shelter in a hollow at its foot.
The Cat cunningly resolved to destroy this chance-made colony. To carry out her design, she climbed to the nest of the Eagle, and said, “Destruction is preparing for you, and for me too, unfortunately. The Wild Sow, whom you see daily digging up the earth, wishes to uproot the oak, so she may on its fall seize our families as food for her young.”
Having thus frightened the Eagle out of her senses, she crept down to the cave of the Sow, and said, “Your children are in great danger; for as soon as you go out with your litter to find food, the Eagle is prepared to pounce upon one of your little pigs.”
Having instilled these fears into the Sow, she went and pretended to hide herself in the hollow of the tree. When night came she went forth with silent foot and obtained food for herself and her kittens, but feigning to be afraid, she kept a lookout all through the day.
Meanwhile, the Eagle, full of fear of the Sow, sat still on the branches, and the Sow, terrified by the Eagle, did not dare to go out from her cave.
And thus they both, along with their families, perished from hunger, and afforded ample provision for the Cat and her kittens.
Moral:
Gossips are to be seen and not heard.
Posted in Aesop Fable, Children story, Fables, Moral story, Story for Adult | Tagged: Act, Adult, Advice, Aesop Fables, Alert, Careful, Cat, Children, Clever, Cunning, Eagle, Fables, Fear, Plan, Short Story, Strategy, Varta, Wild Sow, Wisdom, Wit | Leave a Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 24, 2008
President Clinton was in Bagdad talking about the peace accords. Clinton noticed there were 3 buttons on Saddam’s chair. He didn’t think anything of it at the time.
After a few minutes Saddam pressed the fist button. Immediatly a box popped out in front of Clinton and a boxing glove popped up and punched Clinton in the nose. Clinton was a little dazed, but he wanted to continue with the peace accords so he kept talking. After a few minutes Saddam pressed the second button. A boot came out of the floor and kicked Clinton in the shin. Clinton is starting to get angry, but he decides to go on. About 5 minutes later Saddam pressed the last button and another boot came up and kicked Clinton in the behind.
Clinton had it at this point and jumped up and yelled, “That’s it, I’ll see you in Washington D.C. in 2 weeks!”
Two weeks went by and Saddam came to D.C. He noticed 3 buttons on Clinton’s desk and started to get ready for Clinton’s revenge. He started talking and after a few minutes Clinton pressed the first button. Saddam ducked and nothing happened. He starts talking again, and after a few minutes Clinton pressed the second button. Saddam moved to the side, but, again, nothing happened. Saddam is starting to get suspicious, but he keeps talking. A few more minutes later Clinton pressed the third button. Saddam jumps up, and still, nothing happens.
At this point Saddam is furious. He yells, ” That’s it, I’m going back to Bagdad.”
Clinton looks straight at him and responds, “What Bagdad?”
By: Spyderman, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Accuracy, Advice, Alert, Bagdad, Bill Clinton, Complaint, Courage, Emptiness, Humour, Idiot, Iraq, Politician, President, Revenge, Saddam, Story for Adult, USA, Varta, Washington D. C., Wit | 1 Comment »
Posted by kathavarta on October 24, 2008
Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary’s hometown. They are low on fuel so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up.
The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the First couple’s gas
tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window.
“Hey, Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember me?”, he asks.
They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays and the First couple leaves. As they drive off, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary.
“You used to date that guy? Just think what it would be like if you had married him instead of me”, he says smugly.
Hillary looks at Bill and shrugs. Then she replies, “Well I guess you’d be pumping gas and he would be the President.”
By: Spyderman, for www.19.5degs.com
Posted in Funny Story, Story for Adult, Varta | Tagged: Acceptance, Advice, Alert, Attitude, Bill Clinton, Choice, Clever, Dream, Emptiness, Hillary Clinton, Humour, Imagination, Insult, Marriage, President, Story for Adult, USA, Varta, Wit | Leave a Comment »
